Post the first

From a conversation I was lucky enough to have with a kindly academic at a conference on the works of John Milton:

Academic [played by Eddie Izzard, playing James Mason, playing god]: And what do you do?
Me [played by Helen Baxendale]: I work for Channel 4.
A: Ah! [pause] What’s that?
Me: Hmm… well, you know the BBC? On television channels one and two? We’re on four. Only I don’t actually work for the television bit, but for online.
A: Online? Oh, with the email, yes. So they have television on computers now?
Me: N- yes, more or less.
A: Splendid, splendid. Anything I might have heard of?
Me: [realises futility of trying to explain actual job so instead picks biggest Channel 4 show of decade as possibly recognisable] Well, Channel 4 makes a show called Big Brother.
A: Oh? No, I’m sorry, I can’t say I’ve - wait, isn’t that where they put people in a house and they FIGHT? [excitedly imagining gladiatorial combat]
Me: Yes, that’s the one.
A: Oh yes, I’ve heard about this, they fight - and the fat one called someone a poppadum.
Me: Yes, that’s right.
[long pause]
A: And what is a poppadum?
Me: Well, it’s a sort of-
A: - no, I know this, it’s a kind of restaurant, isn’t it?
Me: It’s like a big crisp you have with a curry.
A: A naan bread?
Me: N- yes.

Fantastic. As to what I actually do… I’m a commissioning editor at Channel 4 online’s lovely 4Talent networks, which cover up-and-coming talent in TV, Radio, Film, New Media and other arts, via online articles, short videos and “podcasts”, as I believe the kids are calling their downloadable audio files these days. We have four hubs - National, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Central England, and some smashing people in each of these locations running their respective websites. I’m responsible for 4Talent Central England, although confusingly enough spend a fair bit of time in London as well as Birmingham. I’m a LonBrummer. Or a different word that doesn’t sound, y’know, demented.